When Our Faith Is Tested

Let us preface this message by saying that although we appreciate people being upset on Brittney’s behalf when they hear about our inability to conceive, please do not ever think that our struggle with infertility somehow determines our value in this world. Or determines her value as a woman. So we are not asking for pity but are sharing for encouragement purposes. Our prayer is that you see and read that here in this post. Thank you for reading! 

Love and blessings,

Britt and Jonathan

Sometimes the Lord reveals himself in a way that is both needed and unexpected. Just yesterday Jonathan and I were praying for the Lord to reveal to us the truth about what we believed he had promised to us. We began to doubt if all of the signs were true. Questioning ourselves, questioning what we believed to be signs, questioning times in the past when we believed we heard from the Lord. 

Today we went to church with heavy hearts. Another month without being pregnant (total of 3 years and 9 months trying). We truly believed before this morning that this was the month and questioned our faith (and God) when this wasn’t the month. So what do you do when you feel like the Lord has told you something so clearly but it still isn’t happening? Our answer today and everyday when all else fails: go to church.

In church today we felt the Holy Spirit speak directly to us. We had a guest preacher who didn’t know our situation, who had never met us, but who had something in common with us. He knew our same God. He started by talking about faith. This was the gist of the message today:

“Faith is for when you can’t see what God is doing and you don’t know if you have it (Faith) until you need it. Understand that suffering is a gift because it allows you to realize that you have real Faith. 

Faith is for when you feel weak in what you are doing and just because you can’t see what God is doing doesn’t mean he doesn’t see or know what he is doing. Faith is learning to trust God even when you don’t understand”

I’ve never felt like I’ve related more to a message. 

Habakkuk 3:17-19 says, “Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to tread on the heights. For the director of music. On my stringed instruments.”

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We are not saved by the strength of our faith but the object of our faith. The object of our faith is Jesus and without him we would surely fail. So for now we are reminded that just because we can’t see what the Lord is doing doesn’t mean the Lord can’t see what he is doing in our lives. Even when the fig tree produces no blossom, we will rejoice and be joyful. 

My prayer today is as follows, 

Lord, thank you for testing our faith. Thank you for choosing Jonathan and I to carry this burden and for allowing us to learn more about our faith daily. We thank you for our future children but will also thank you if we never meet our children here on earth. Continue to draw us closer to you daily and protect our hearts throughout this journey. 

In Jesus’ name we pray.

-Amen.